Written In The Stars
by Tari Elensar
Summary: [Mi/I] - Isabel starts to get flashbacks of her life on Antar and learns that history always repeats itself.


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Title: Written In The Stars

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Author: Tári Elensar

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Email: tari_elensar@hotmail.com

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Category: Mi/I with hints of M/B, M/Mi and I/K

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Rating: PG 

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Summary: Isabel starts to get flashbacks of her life on Antar and learns that history always repeats itself.

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Roswell. I'm only borrowing. No money is being made of this story.

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Author's Note: This is the very first Roswell fic I ever finished. I'm an Isabel shipper whore but before all that I was a die hard Cliffie. Some people have asked me if there was going to be a sequel to this story and at the moment all I can say is that I've started writing one but knowing how many fanfics I'm trying to finish at the moment, it could be a while before that one sees the light of day. So for now, I hope you enjoy this fic. ^_^

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Alex is dead. 

Tess is gone. 

Max is going to be a father. 

I'm going to college. 

Michael and Maria are officially together. 

It's like everything and everyone I've come to depend on is crumbling before my very eyes. And all I can do is stand back and watch. 

And since these dreams started, nothing has made sense - not that it did before - but now? I barely know who I am. 

During the day, I am Isabel Evans, super smart alien, trying to live a normal life in Roswell, New Mexico - home of the little green men. I'm the loving sister of Max, loyal friend of Michael, Liz, Maria and even Kyle, and mourning ex-girlfriend and ex-friend of Alex and Tess. 

Now if you think that is confusing, think again. Who I am at night is the kind of thing you hear in fairy tales. 

In my dreams, I am Vilandra, princess of the planet of Antar, trying to hide a secret bigger than my one on Earth. I'm the loving sister of Zan, our king, loyal friend of Ava, Zan's new wife and fiancée to Rath, the leader of Zan's army. But I'm also the secret lover of Kivar, my kingdoms greatest enemy, a traitor and the reason that the four of us are on Earth in the first place. 

Confused? I certainly am. 

The dreams - the ones about my _former _life - started way back. I'm not sure exactly when. Maybe it was after I met Nikolas. Or maybe it was during my trip to Vegas. I can never remember. All I know is that ever since then I haven't been the same. And lately it's been getting worse. The dreams are more real. And sometimes they even break through during the day. 

I want to tell Max and Michael. I so badly want them to know. But I can't tell them. I can't let them know what I did to them. Maybe one day they'll remember but they can't know now. Not with everything that's happening. It would kill Max to think he had another traitor among us. 

Max has just told me that he's called a meeting for all of us tonight at the UFO Center to discuss the "Tess situation" as he described it. Maria said she'd take care of Brody...whatever that means. 

Part of me hopes the meeting runs late...that way I have less time to go back to being Vilandra...But the other part of me can't wait to be back with Kivar. 

****************

"Everyone here?" Max asked, looking all official. We were all sitting in plastic chairs, while Max marched back and forth in front of us like a teacher or drill sergeant. 

"Everyone but Maria," I heard Michael say through clenched teeth. "But she may just be with Brody."

Just as the words passed his lips, Maria bounded in. 

"Sorry!" she called, rolling her eyes. "I was on the phone to Brody. I...uh...kinda have a date with him in half an hour. It was the only way I could think of to keep him busy. You know getting ready and stuff." She looked around for a place to sit. All the chairs were taken so she opted for Michael's lap. He welcomed her with open arms. 

"Ok well we better make this quick then," Max announced, taking control. I tried to listen. But something was distracting me. 

I was watching Michael and Maria. I watched Maria flip her hair over her shoulder. Isn't her hair longer than that? I thought to myself. Maria turned to me for a second and I realized it wasn't Maria. It was...me.

I watched myself flirt and play with Michael. Play with his hair, kiss him and then jump off his lap and leap into the arms of some guy who was walking down the stairs of the UFO Center. I frowned. Who was it? It wasn't Brody...But it was someone familiar. 

"Isabel!"

I jumped and tore my eyes away from the guy and me. "Yeah?" I asked my brother weakly. 

Max looked impatient. He was holding Liz's hand, his car keys in the other. "I asked if you wanted a lift home. Me and Liz are going to the movies but we can drop you off first."

I shook my head. I so didn't want to tag along with them. Even for a second. "No thanks," I said. "I'll get a lift with Kyle...or Michael." Was the meeting finished already? 

Max shrugged. "See ya at home then. Try and get some sleep. In your own bed." He and Liz left. I didn't bother asking them why they were seeing a movie in the middle of the "Tess Situation". 

I turned back to the spot where the guy and I had been standing. No one was there. Either I was hallucinating or...I had fallen asleep again. I rubbed my eyes. I hadn't thought I'd been asleep but then again...

"Isabel?"

I glanced up. Kyle's eager face was grinning down at me. "You need a lift home?" he asked. 

I hesitated. I could hear yelling coming from Brody's office. I'd rather get a lift with Michael but if Maria was going over there...

"Sure Kyle," I said finally. "Thanks. Can I first just go talk to Michael?"

"Sure Isabel," Kyle grinned again. "Take as long as you need." He sat down in a chair to wait. 

I tried to ignore the happy grin and the possessive way he said my name. I smiled weakly and stood up just in time to see Maria storming out of Brody's office, up the stairs and out of the museum. 

I hurried over to Brody's office and lent on the door frame. Michael was leaning forward on the desk, rolling his shoulders. He looked tense. 

"Trouble in paradise?" I asked teasingly. 

Michael spun around and I could see the tension lift from his body. "You could say that," he said, hoisting himself up onto the desk. 

"Want to talk about it?" I asked from my place in the doorway. 

Michael shrugged. "Max says I have a bit of the 'jealous boyfriend syndrome'. I just don't like Maria going out with Brody, even if it is to keep him busy...

"Uh-huh..." I murmured, trying to concentrate on Michael's words, but my mind was wondering again. 

Michael jumped off the table and started walking towards me. He was about half way when he stopped and clutched his stomach. A pained expression came over his face. He pulled his hands away from his stomach and I could see they were covered in blood. I gasped as I stared at the blood seeping into his T-shirt. He had been shot. 

"Isabel..." he mouthed before he collapsed on the floor. 

"Michael!" I screamed. I tried to reach for him but someone grabbed my arms and held me back. 

Then I crumpled to the floor. The last thing I saw was Michael's bloody body next to mine. 

****************

"Isabel? Isabel?"

My eyes flew open to find Michael and Kyle staring down at me. Both faces were filled with concern and worry. Michael, I thought. He's ok. Then what....

"Where am I?" I muttered as I tried to stand up. 

"You're in the UFO Center," Michael said as he and Kyle hoisted me to my feet. 

I stood up shakily. 

"Are you ok?" Michael asked anxiously. 

"What happened?" I asked cautiously. I knew what had happened. But did Michael?

Michael looked panicky. "Isabel you were standing and listening to me one second, and then next you were screaming out to me, then you collapsed. You don't remember?"

I did but I just shook my head numbly. 

Michael opened his mouth to say something else but I cut him off. I didn't want him asking questions now. I didn't want to have to lie. "Maybe I should just go home. Kyle?"

Kyle nodded. He looked shocked. "Come on," he said. He took my arm and started to lead me out. 

"Isab--"

"Good bye Michael," I called over my shoulder. "I'll ring you."

****************

Max wasn't home when I got there. My parents were though. After assuring Kyle I was ok and dodging another hint of a date, I sneaked past them and went up to my room. I couldn't handle them and the questioning right now. 

I quietly closed my bedroom door and stared longingly at my bed. I was so tired but I didn't want to go to sleep. I didn't want to dream again. Not that being awake kept me from them. Tonight had proved that - twice. 

What had happened at the UFO Center had scared me. I had to tell someone. But if I did that I'd have to tell the whole story and I didn't want to do that. At least not now. 

Sure Max and Michael already know that I - Vilandra - had betrayed them but they didn't know exact details. I did. And keeping it a secret was tearing me apart. But telling them - especially Michael - would kill them. 

A tear slid down my cheek and I gave in. I laid down on my bed, still clothed and closed my eyes. 

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"Vilandra."

I melted into the arms that had slid around my waist. 

"I knew you'd come," a soft voice whispered in my ear. 

"Of course I would," I whispered back. "Nothing could keep me from you. Not even Rath." My voice shook a little when I said my fiancée's name. 

I felt the arms around me go limp and the body pressing against me moved away. "So it's true?" he asked. "Rath knows about us?"

I spun around, my eyes filling with tears. "He knows I'm seeing someone else," I said softly. "Kivar I'm so sorry."

Kivar stared back at me with his kind eyes. "Lonnie, sweetie," he said, enveloping me with his strong arms. "It's ok. He was bound to find out someday. We just have to figure out what to do next." He kissed me softly. 

I pulled away and gazed into his eyes. "I wish I could get Zan to listen to you. He has to realize you want peace."

Kivar shrugged. "We'll think of something. But now I just want to enjoy my time with you and only you. Let's just pretend we're two kids in love, living normal everyday lives." He pulled me close and kissed me passionately. 

"I love you Kivar," I whispered between kisses. 

****************

I heard a car pull up in the driveway. I could see the headlights reflecting in my room. "Kivar?" I mumbled. 

Of course it's not Kivar, the awake part of my brain told me. It's only Max. Sleepily I tried to sit up. I should tell him about Vilandra. But I was so tired. I fell back down on my pillows. I heard the front door open and my parents talking downstairs. I tried to stay with them but sleep was too powerful. I drifted off again. 

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"So are you telling me that this is a secret entrance to that leads to Zan and Ava's room and yours and Rath's?" 

I nodded sleepily and rested my head on Kivar's bare chest. "It was built as an escape route for the Royal Four if our enemies were ever to attack. This is where you'll find me if the war gets worse. Only the four of us and our protectors know about it. No one will know we're here."

Kivar nodded thoughtfully and pulled the blanket up around us tightly. He shifted his weight and tried to get comfortable on the hard ground of the secret passage.

"But lets not talk about that now," I insisted. "Tonight is our night. It may be the only time we'll ever be like this. I want it to last forever."

Kivar laughed. I squirmed a little. I'd never heard him laugh like that. I ignored it, especially when he rolled me on my back and started kissing me in the way only he knew. 

"It will last forever," he assured me. "It's written in the stars."

I ignored the mocking tone. Nothing was ever going to come between Kivar and me. If Zan wanted him dead, he'd have to kill me too. 

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"Izzy are you awake?" 

I rolled over. Max was sitting on my bed, next to me, in the dark. He was positively glowing. 

"Uh-huh," I mumbled, hoping he couldn't see the tears in my eyes. 

What was I thinking? The only way Max would see anything about me would be if I suddenly turned into Liz Parker. 

"What did you think about what I said tonight?" Max asked. "You didn't say much."

"Uh...tonight?" I asked weakly. 

"Yeah at the UFO Center"

I bit my bottom lip. I didn't remember anything Max had said then. "I...uh...agree with you," I stammered. 

Max looked surprised. "You do?"

"Sure," I said, trying to sound convincing. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Well because it's such a big risk and all," Max said looking pained. 

"I trust you," I said cringing. I hated lying to Max. 

"Well good," Max said standing up. "I'll start trying to contact them tomorrow. Night Izzy."

"What?" I blurted out. "Contact them?"

Max didn't hear me. He was already out the door - probably thinking about his night with Liz. 

The door to my room closed and I was alone again. 

****************

I burst into my brother's room. "Kivar what are you doing here?" I demanded. 

Zan's head whipped around to face me. He was tied up to his bed. He looked badly beaten. "Vilandra?" 

Kivar laughed. He walked towards me slowly. Fear pulsed through me. I had never been afraid of Kivar before - but now...

I stood my ground and stared him in the eye. "You betrayed me," I said hoping he couldn't detect the shakiness in my voice.

Kivar grinned. "Vilandra. So glad of you to join us. How did you know we were here?"

"It could have been that every person that lives in this building is dead," I said bitterly. "Or maybe I just sensed a traitor was entering the building. You betrayed me."

Kivar only grinned again. "Not quite," he said as he cupped my chin in his hand. "I believe it were you that did the betraying." He turned my head so it faced Ava, who was tied up next to Zan. She was out cold. "You friend." Kivar moved my head to Zan. "Your brother...and..."

At that moment Rath was pulled into the bedroom by two guards. I gasped and my eyes filled with tears. He was in worse shape then Zan. 

"...even the man you love....Or do you? 'I love you Kivar.'," he mocked in a high pitched voice, as the doors to the bedroom were pulled closed. 

Shaking, I pulled myself away from Kivar. "How could you do this to me?" I asked trying to build up some courage.

Kivar laughed. The same laugh that I had heard after we'd made love for the first time in the secret passage. "You're so young and innocent. You don't even know when you're being played."

"Lonnie?" Rath asked weakly. "Is this true?"

I couldn't speak. Rath and Zan were staring at me, the hurt and betrayal visible in their eyes. Ava was lifeless on the bed. "I..."

"Tell them Vilandra," Kivar taunted. "Tell them where we were and what we did last night. Tell them what you told me."

I could feel the tears falling quickly down my cheeks. 

"Vilandra..." Zan said. "How could you?" He sounded so disappointed. 

"I'm sorry," I cried. "I'm sorry."

"Little late for that now isn't it?" Kivar snarled. He slapped me across the face. 

I cried out in pain. 

"Don't touch her!" Rath protested as he struggled to get away from Kivar's men. 

Kivar snickered. "You think that's going to stop me?" he asked. "It surely wouldn't have stopped me last night."

Rath let out a strangled cry and broke away from the soldiers. He ran towards me. 

He got about half way. There was a flash of light and when I opened my eyes, Rath had stopped running. He was standing still, clutching his stomach, a pained expression crossing his face. He slowly and shakily pulled his hands away from his stomach and held them up. They were covered in blood. And the blood was quickly seeping into his shirt. 

"Vilandra..." he mouthed before he collapsed to the ground.

"Rath!" I screamed. I made a dive for him but two of Kivar's men grabbed my arms and held me back. "Rath," I sobbed as I stared at his body and tried with all my strength to break free. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

I could hear Zan and Ava's muffled cries. Ava had woken up. Kivar strode over to me. He grabbed my face and kissed me, bruising my lips. "Thanks for your help hun. This truly was written in the stars," He clapped his hands together. "Now I gotta run. I have a throne to claim."

Kivar started to leave the room. "Oh yeah," he added, stopping in the doorway. "Kill them all," he commanded before walking out. 

The guards dragged me over to the bed. They made me watch as they killed Ava and then Zan. I wept for them. They were dead because of me. 

Then it was my turn. I closed my eyes and welcomed it. I didn't deserve to live. I was a traitor. And everyone was dead. I would never be able to prove to Rath that I'd made a mistake and that it was him that I had loved all along. 

****************

I woke up sobbing hysterically. It was the third time I'd had that dream. And each time was worse than the last. I had to go and see Michael. I had to apologize to him. I had to let him know that I loved him and that I'd made a mistake. 

I climbed out of bed. I grabbed a sweater and the keys to my parent's car and ran downstairs. It was quiet. It must have been after midnight since my parents were in bed. I crept outside and got in the car. Then I drove to Michael's apartment.

I paused outside his door. Then slowly I brought my hands up to the door and knocked. There was no answer but I could hear movement inside. 

Using my powers I unlocked the door and went in. "Michael?" I called softly. 

"Michael you are an insufferable jerk!" I heard Maria scream suddenly. "I'm starting to think I liked you better when you didn't care about me!"

"Maria don't lie to me!" Michael yelled back. "You like spending time with Brody! Don't deny it! I see the way you look at him."

"Fine!" Maria screamed back. "Fine! I admit it. I like spending time with Brody. He's a great guy. And he's a lot more caring about me than you are. I don't belong to you Michael Guerin!"

I paused. Should I interrupt?

"Fine Maria," Michael said in calm voice. He was never this calm. "Then get out. Go be with Brody. We're through."

"Fine," Maria cried back. She pushed past me, not saying a word and left. She slammed the door behind her. 

"Uh...hi," I said.

Michael glanced up. The anger in his eyes melted instantly. "Izzy what are you doing here?" he asked. "You look terrible."

"Thanks," I muttered. But I knew he was right. My eyes were puffy and my makeup streaked from crying and I had bags under my eyes from sleepless nights. 

"Izzy?" Michael prompted. He led me over to the couch and we sat down. 

"Never mind," I muttered. "What were you and Maria fighting about?"

Michael shrugged. "Everything. She's been here an hour - after getting back from her date with Brody - and all we've done is fight. But don't think you're getting out of it that easily. Me and Maria fighting is normal. You coming over to my house at this time of night, looking like this is not. Now spill." 

That's when I broke down.

"Michael I'm so sorry," I gasped between sobs. 

Michael looked surprised. "For what?"

I choked back another sob. "For everything. For Vilandra. I know what she did to you. To Zan. To Ava. To our people. It's tearing me apart not telling you. I'm just so sorry."

Michael pulled me into a hug. "Izzy...shhhh....it's ok. It's ok. You didn't do anything. That was Vilandra. You're not her anymore." He rocked me back and forth and spoke to me softly. 

I shook my head. "Michael I can't live with myself anymore. I know what I did. I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember everything. I remember how I felt about Kivar. About you and I am so sorry. I was so young. So stupid. So vulnerable. It was because of me that you live this life now. If I hadn't done what I'd done you would be back home with your parents. With your family. With me," I babbled. 

"Hey slow down Iz," Michael said pulling away. "Why don't you tell me what's making you like this. Then I can prove to you that I don't blame you for anything."

I sniffed. Michael meant everything to me. Did I really want him to know what I had done? And how I felt about him? Did I really want him to know? I stared into his eyes and I knew if I didn't do it now, I never would. I had to make sure Rath knew how much I loved him. 

"I've been having these dreams," I started, making my decision. Michael had to know. "They're more like memories. Or flashbacks. Or something more. It's like when I dream, I'm really there. I'm really there living it all out again and again. I get different memories here and there but mostly I just get the same three days playing over and over again."

I took a deep breath. Michael was watching me, a concerned and surprised look crossing his face. I continued. 

"The first is me with Kivar. I'd just come from seeing you. You knew that I was seeing someone behind your back. You just didn't realize it was our enemy. But I was so young and stupid. I really thought I was in love with him. And I thought he loved me too--"

"Whoa," Michael said putting his hands up. "Back up. You remember everything about our life together? You remember _everything_?"

I nodded. "Zan and Ava had just been married before the war started. You and I were betrothed. I loved you. I really did. But when the war started you became obsessed with beating Kivar and his army. You were the head of Zan's army so all of a sudden you had no time for me. I wanted you back so I went to Kivar to try and make peace. And that's when I fell in love."

No expression crossed Michael's face. He just stared, absorbing it all. I went on. 

"My second dream was..." I paused. Did I really want to tell Michael this? "It's about the first time Kivar and I made love. In fact it was the first time I had done it with anyone. And if that's not bad enough we did it in the tunnel in our palace. The tunnel was designed as an escape route for the royal four if the palace was ever under attack. But I made the mistake and showed our enemy where it was. I thought it would be a safe haven for where Kivar and I could be alone and no one would suspect." I bowed my head as more tears filled my eyes. 

Michael's expression was pure shock. However, that was nothing for what was about to come. 

"I was so young. I really believed Kivar loved me. But one day I came home to find every person in our home dead. Kivar was there with ten of his strongest men. He imprisoned us in Zan and Ava's bedroom and told everyone what I had done. And then he...then he..." I broke down sobbing again. 

Michael made no move to comfort me. "Then he killed us all," he finished for me. 

I nodded miserably. I took his hands in mine and faced him. "Michael I remember what my last thought before I died was. It was about you. I was thinking how stupid I was to fall for Kivar and I realized that it was you I loved all along. I was thinking how I would do anything to prove myself to you. To show you that I loved you."

A flash of images rushed through me. I knew Michael was seeing them too. I knew he was remembering. 

When they were over, Michael remained silent. He slowly pulled his hands away from me. "I remember Vilandra," he said slowly. "I remember. And I remember how much I loved you. And how happy you made me. I remember that I wanted to win the war so badly so that you and I could live together in peace. I didn't realize that I had been neglecting you. It hurt me so much, Lonnie, when I found out about you and Kivar. I remember my last thought before I died too." Michael's eyes were glistening with tears. "I remember trying to reach out for you and then thinking that if I was ever given a second chance I would watch over you and make sure no harm would ever come to you again. And most of all I remember that I would forgive you for what you did to us. It wasn't you that betrayed us Vilandra. And it didn't matter if you did. Because I love you. Not Vilandra. You. I love you Isabel," Michael added. "And I'm going to make good on my promise. I'm going to watch over you and make sure nothing can hurt you again." And with that Michael leaned over and kissed me softly. 

Tears streamed down my cheeks. "And I love you Michael. I love you more than anything. And I always have. This guilt has been eating me alive. I didn't think you'd ever forgive me."

Michael smiled and took me into his arms. He held me close. "Of course I would Izzy. You're my Izzy. My angel. My everything. And I think a part of me has always known this…it just needed something to awaken it."

"What about Maria?" I sniffed. 

Michael kissed the top of my head. "I love Maria. But not like this. I love her as a friend. And I always will. Just like you loved Alex."

I smiled. "I'll never leave you again Michael," I whispered. "I'll never let anything come between us again."

"I know you won't," Michael said as he stroked the side of my face. "Our love is written in the stars."

I kissed him with everything that I had. I remembered the last time someone said that to me and how I believed it. I felt a pang of heartache. I had really thought I was in love with Kivar. Maybe I still am. But as Michael led me over to his bed, I smiled. I believed Michael. I had no reason not to. Our love was destiny.

****************

I rolled over and sighed contentedly. It was the first night in months that my dreams had been free of those memories. I reached out for Michael. He wasn't there. "Michael?" I murmured.

I opened my eyes and sat up. Michael was no where in sight. I pulled a sheet around my body and stood up. I looked around the apartment. "Michael?" 

No answer. 

That's when I noticed the sheet of paper lying on the kitchen bench. 

"Pod chamber." That's all it said. 

Panic filled my heart. I fumbled around and got dressed. Then grabbing the keys to the car ran downstairs. I had to get to Michael. I had him now. Nothing would come between us. 

As I drove to the chamber millions of different scenarios filled my head. But none was as awful as what I saw when I got there. 

Max was tied to one of the pods. Michael to another. 

"Oh my god," I gasped as ran to them. They were badly beaten. 

I used my powers to try to undo whatever restraints were holding them. 

"Izzy," Michael gasped. 

"Does this scene look familiar Vilandra?"

I froze. I slowly turned around. Nikolas. 

"What are you doing here?" I asked him. "You're not wanted."

"Obviously," Nikolas said walking over to Michael and Max. "I just came to let you know something."

"What's that?" I snapped. 

Nikolas beckoned for me to lean closer. I did. 

"History always repeats itself," he whispered in my ear. 

"What are you talking about?" I asked as I pulled away. 

"Does this scene look familiar?" Nikolas asked again. 

With a flash it all came to me. Nikolas was there. He was the one that had killed Rath. 

"How did you get in here?" I asked, trying to pretend I hadn't realized. 

Nikolas laughed coldly. "Remember when you betrayed your people Vilandra?"

I didn't answer. 

"Well you did it again. I believe it was your good friend Tess that told me about this place. And if I have my facts right....it was you that first befriended her."

Max let out a cry. "Don't listen to him Isabel," he cried. "You're stronger than that."

Nikolas laughed again and a flash of light went through the chamber. And then to my horror, the scene in the bedroom started to replay as if in slow motion. 

"Michael!" I cried as he slid to the floor. "Michael I'm so sorry!"

I reached his side and cradled his head in my arms. "Maybe we'll have third chance," he whispered. Then he went limp. 

Nikolas laughed. "Looks like every time you sleep with someone it ends in tragedy...What do you think Vilandra?"

I didn't answer him. I didn't listen. I just let the tears stream down my cheeks. I closed my eyes and tried to block out the sounds of my brother's screams. It didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered. I guess my destiny really was written in the stars. 

****************


End file.
